In this collection, you will see my poems and notes, written as a memoir to my love.
“Looking at your starred mails in my inbox, I realized that you are a star in my life. Remember, the star to my south.”
– 19 Mar 2018
Spring – Blush
She was spring
He was blush
He never said
his secret crush
From first day
She was his dream
He loved chocolates
She loved ice-creams
Always full spring
Pain hurts more
When reality stings
He loved her smile
He saw the rose
But there’re thorns
When he went close
Blush cried whole night
He cried full day
He tried all hopes
To find new Ray
He wished her smile
He prayed for her
But he could not
Bring back her lover
-19 Mar 2017
I will still love you
Maybe I’m not the one for you
O Dear! I will still love you
You keep on saying
That you don’t love me.
‘I can’t return the same’
You keep remorsing
But I have just only you
Dear! I will still love you
– 25 Mar 2018
“Whenever you write, I feel myself alive. So, keep writing as now I have only solace of your words.”
–08 Apr 2018
Happy Friendship Day
It was all so real
Those times spent with you
I was myself alive
My life a little new
There was some fun
A new kind of joy
Tryin’ to make you smile
I was a lost boy
I saw it in stars
You’re looking at me right?
Though we’re so far
In that beautiful night
I said it to you
Perhaps a hundred times
One day ‘ll be alright
In dozens of rhymes
How crazy it was
To lost in those songs
Though feelings were so true
Maybe time was l’ttle wrong
But it was all beautiful
Know, I cherish it everyday
Whenever I feel lost
Your smile cheers my day
I don’t know future
But my heart says, it’s true
I am blessed forever
O my friend to have you.
There is no special day to celebrate true friendship, love and joy. When you’re in love, each day is miracle and every moment is beautiful.
9 Apr 2018
‘With each passing day, I end up loving you more and more.’
16 Apr 2018
‘Now that it has been a month left, I think I should start on it.’
27 Apr 2018
‘You are one year elder than me’
“Don’t say such, its just seven months and nine days”
Letter to my Love
Last night, I watched A walk to remember, and while watching it, I also felt that I also need a Jamie Sullivan in my life. You remember you had asked me, ‘what if you get a chance to spend your full day with me, what will you do?’ I know, I had said that I’d live it as the last day of my life. Now, I too feel that I’d like that day to be same as it was in the movie between Landon and Jamie.
I remember, I was lost few days back. I stopped talking with you suddenly and I was hurt. I was hurt due to lots of reasons and I wanted to be alone. I said to you that there’re questions and I need their answers first. Still there are few questions left but one thing is sure and it is: I love you and I can’t live without loving you. Each day, you know every day seems to be like the first day to me. I tried, yes I tried to be away from you. I thought it to be my infatuation, illusion, or something else but as far I know, it’s not that. Because still when I look at stars, I remember that night when we watched them together under different roofs but on the same sky. Whenever I hear about marriages the first thing I remember that it’s one of your wish to attend a marriage uninvited. When someone talks with me about love, your name gently appears before my eyes as if you’re a synonym to the word love itself. When I look at roses, you know, I feel as if it’s our spring, gulaabo, and blush. I stopped using all social medias but I couldn’t restrain myself watching your single post every day. And you know, when I found nothing to soothe my heart, I re-read our old conversations a hundred times. It was not an illusion. It was not a lie. But I still keep every moment near to my heart that I spent with you. I still find reasons to make you smile. I still plan different surprises for you. You know, someday in future I can tell a story to my grand-kids. Your story. A story about the girl with most beautiful heart. You have taught me so much, you inspire me everyday. Love – a simple word for me, meant to sacrifice yourself for the good of others. You gave it a new meaning by accepting me in your life. I’m thankful to you for being my best special friend, for being my partner in dreams, for being that little cute girl whom I love endlessly. You know, when we’re kids we’re so innocent, so carefree. We are so faithful that we hold our Papa’s finger clinching it tightly that he’s there to lead me. We feel so warmth in the lap of our mothers as if it is the best roller coaster ride. The reason is we don’t judge, we don’t doubt. It is as simple as that. We’re full of love as a kid that we accept it from all the sides. You know, when a child sees a butterfly how cheerful he becomes. ‘It’s so beautiful mumma,’ he exclaims. But as we grow up we lost that cheerful heart. We forget to love and start judging and suspecting. It’s not anyone’s fault though. When we experience and what we experience as a youth – harsh realities of life, we become detached. We lose interest in everything. I think, teenage is an age when our best of friends can be turned into a foe. Am I missing something? Yes, we miss it, the very basic and essentialities of human being i.e., love and faith.
When I am with you, I feel the same love and happiness as a 6 year old boy feels when he shares his favourite chocolate with his 5-year old girlfriend. I dream a lot and it is from childhood that somehow I have been able to keep my heart young as a kid. But when I’m with you, I dream for us. I didn’t know it earlier that ice-creams could be so delicious. The boy who was so much absorbed in books that he was never interested much in movies, today he has completed two of the most amazing movies by Nicholas Sparks. The reason is you. I was a choiceless guy and I’m still bad at it. But the best choice I have made in my life is you.
I don’t know what future holds for us. But I always wish your happiness before mine. I wish you to grow up in your life. I wish you to pursue your dreams. It is my personal desire to see you as the best psychologist healing people out of their problems. And as for me, I will always love you like this, more than this. I wish even at the age of 80 or more, I look up for your write-ups everyday. Till then keep care of yourself. You mean a lot to someone.
28 Apr 2018
‘The biggest reward for me is to see your precious smile.’
2 May 2018
Do you read it here? Or do you know every wish of my heart? In all the reasons, I just wish you to be happy always.
4 May 2018
One day I wish to sit by your side selling all your handmade chocolate ice-creams to the street kids together with you.
4 May 2018
‘Wanted to say few words to you on your birthday’
I don’t know how to start? But I remember something from a tale. A B C D E F G…, there are 26 letters in the alphabet, so I give you all to make a wish for yourself. I promise I will listen to you. Last night I was sleeping by my mom’s side under hundreds of stars and moon was shining with its dim light. I was thinking of you and it often happens with me when I think about you.
You know, there is someone who waits for you to wake up in the morning. There is someone who cares if you sleep properly in night or not. I’m that someone – your friend.
26 May 2018
“Once I had written a dozen poems for you. But you know, after that whatever I wrote, you became most common part of it. Still today, when I write, my words curve just one name that my heart sings and it’s none other but you name.”
05 Jun 2018
Is anything special today?
Yes, since the day I met you, every day when I wake up in the morning I find it special cause you’re there with me. When I go for my morning prayers and close my eyes, I find you there with me. When I read something or watch a movie, I find you there with me. See you have made me like yourself, movie-holic (*I remember last time you corrected. I need someone who could correct me every time I do a mistake and I want you to be that someone).
So, today I saw ’50 first dates’ or is it ‘first 50 dates’? I’m still confused. But it touched me deep down in my heart. You remember Lucy, when Henry goes out to her in the last and asks her, ‘I’m Henry. Do you remember me?’ and Lucy in turns says, ‘No.’ But then she pulls his hand and takes him out to her studio. There – I was suddenly broken down because on every wall of the room there were paintings of Henry made by her. And then she says, ‘I don’t remember you who you are but I see you everyday in my dreams.’ I loved that particular moment a million-fold times and I think this is true love. Love lies in the smallest of moments that are so close to us and this is the biggest blessing of love. I know with this, I have completed all of your favourite movies upto now. I started with, ‘LaLaLand’ then ‘Notebook’ and let me tell you both movies are my most favorite movies now. Then I had asked you once, ‘if you wish your life to be based on a movie what would be that movie’ and you said, ‘A walk to remember.’ I watched it too and I was completely mesmerized with love. You know, I love all your choices. And then I watched, ‘P.s. I love you’, ‘Me Before You’ and ’50-first dates’.
‘Bigaad diya hai tumne mujhe thoda sa. Pura din movies dekhta rehta hu ya fir sota rehta hu aur jo time bachta hai usme bhi tumhare baare me sochta rehta hu.’
But I like myself in this way. I like to be with you forever. And I can wait for you like Henry, starting everyday a new, trying to cheer your day like the first ray of sun kissing the earth.
Always wish to be just yours
11 June 2018
I need something to soothe my mind. No books don’t help now. I am fed up of reading all those tragic romantic novels that leave you with tears in the eyes and a soft pain inside the heart. Music. No I can’t listen music all hours through the day. I want to read something that will help me to remove all your pain. I want to listen something that could help me forget every memory of you. And though I know nothing can help me at this hour of midnight. It is just you and only you who can remove all my pain and it’s only your voice that can soothe my heart. Are you listening S…?
Are you listening?
19 June 2018
Nigaho me dekho meri
Jo hai bas gaya
Wo hai milta tumse
Jaane teri aankhe thi ya
Baate thi wajah
Hue tum jo dil ki
Tum paas hoke bhi
Tum aas hoke bhi
Ehshaas hoke bhi
Aise hai humko gile
Tumse na jaane kyu
Meelo ke hai faasle
Tumse na jaane kyu
Tu jaane na……..
23 Jun 2018
mujhe tumse kuchh kehna hai
I cannot forget you ever
and I can’t stop loving you ever ever and ever.
But I know the only thing I have ever dreamt off, wished for and I still do so, is your well-being and happiness.
I don’t expect anything and I know, love cannot be forced upon or is a thing that happens consciencely but it is natural.
Love, it should be as soft as the cool wind in the months of summer that brings joy to one.
Love is the first rain of the spring that is something waited for.
It is a blessing. It is sacred – a nectar that gives you life or perhaps, a light that shows you the right way.
I know, I am blessed to come across you though God deserves credit for that because anything that happens it happens according to Him.
And yes, I believe in miracles – I believe in the miracles of God.
One of them was when He saved my mother and other one was when I met you.
I have always been loved by everyone and it feels special when it comes from the one who is so close to your heart.
I still cherish those times, little conversations, we used to have in the past.
How crazy I was, always trying, thinking something new for making your Sundays happy?
Planning out little surprises for you, to make you smile. and feel good as before.
I am thankful to you for everything.
Still sometimes, I dream that one day when I will open my eyes after long-hour sleep, you will be sitting by my side.
Perhaps, in some other world may be.
Ajkal, mai sapno me bhi tumhe hi dekhta hu. Bas tumhe.
Few days back, I woke up with a start very early before morning. You had called me – in my dreams and you were saying,
‘Can I talk to Gaurav’ and even before I put the phone to ears, I felt like your name flashed before my eyes and I said it, ‘S……..’
I opened my eyes and everything was blank then except your name was still ringing in my ears.
If you ever come across this or anything then listen, I want to say you something,
‘Always carry your real smile with you wherever you go.
Never become too sad or depressed thinking about worldly affairs, you know God is there for everything.
Be happy and joyful forever and share it with others.’
I wish you to smile always. Lovely forever.
26 Jun 2018